These are the confessions - such as they are of a non-drinking, monogamous, heterosexual, omnivore.
The Ginger Mumbly is a humorous and humourous, satirical, column. People who like this will probably like reading books.
They'll be interested in second hand books.
I also write about cafes - both in Brighton, where I now live and in Cambridge, where I used to live.
I spend a lot of my time in Cafes and have very strong opinions about what makes a good one.
And sometimes I write about travel, I like Paris, Berlin, Athens.
It's a secular, militantly agnostic site, so there probably isn't much point sending ads for religious organisations.
They will probably like reading authors like Hunter S. Thompson, P J O' Rourke, Saki, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Charlie Booker, Damon Runyan.
They might like TV shows like "The Thick of It", "The Mighty Boosh", "The Wire", "Arrested Development".
The might like films like "A life Aquatic", or "The Big Lebowski"
Different
It happens occasionally. Despite the bear pits, the man-traps, the trip wires, snares and sniper's nests that
beset my psyche. Every now and then, still it hits me, something makes it through,
under the barbed wire, shimmying between the search lights. Out to the perimeter, to consciousness.
The desire to do something different.
And I don't mean dye the carpet Prussian blue and deck my parlour out in the manner of a nineteenth
century dandy. I don't mean stencil my khazi (you can't use ordinary stencilling paint for this,
but you can buy it mail order from a nice little company called Latrine Dreams Ltd...). Or build a mediterranean-style water
feature out of an old fiat bravo. Or stuffing quail with prunes and marinating them in sake. None of that, I
don't mean the kind of difference that you can buy at all good art shops and hardware stores or larger
supermarkets. And I don't mean "all in a good cause", pogo sticking across Peru, sitting in a bath of bake
beans, bungy jumping different. Or "Seemed like a good idea after
eight pints" different (although there
are of course also lots of these).
No, I mean something earth shattering, bridge-burning and possibly arrestable. Of course the ones that
break through most often are the ones about you guessed it. Like bending the cute girl sitting opposite you
on the train over the seat back and rogering her senseless (for some reason physical impossibility or at least
a high risk of cramp are ever present with these particular
urges). Or leading a march of Greeks on Stone Henge claiming that we paid a bloke called Eric twenty
quid for it and we have a receipt and anyway, even if we do nick it, it'll be much better looked after for
posterity in Athens, out of all this nasty rain (of course the real fun there would be watching them trying to
take it on the plane as hand luggage). But then there's real high wire adrenaline
fuelled stuff. Telling somebody what you really think when they ask you what you
really think, "Take, away the... (tits and arse /rakish god looks, freakish height and square jaw, delete as
appropriate) and nobody would pay you the slightest attention." And then stand back, watching the tear in
the social fabric rip wider and wider. Or to not tell the truth, to tell lies or create a diversion, but to just
throw away the script and do something genuinely flabberghastingly unexpected. Like going into a song
and dance routine in the middle of a job interview that you've obviously
bollocksed up - "I'm not sure that I
do have those skills but now I'd like to sing 'The Moon and I' from the Mikado please excuse the falsetto."
Or talking dirty to the man who rings you up in the middle of your dinner to
tell you that "we're doing a
promotion in your area on replacement double glazing and..."
(low groans)"What are you wearing?"
Yes, just occasionally, I have the urge to do these things. But I don't.
These are the confessions - such as they are of a non-drinking, monogamous, heterosexual, omnivore.
The Ginger Mumbly is a humorous and humourous, satirical, column. People who like this will probably like reading books.
They'll be interested in second hand books.
I also write about cafes - both in Brighton, where I now live and in Cambridge, where I used to live.
I spend a lot of my time in Cafes and have very strong opinions about what makes a good one.
And sometimes I write about travel, I like Paris, Berlin, Athens.
It's a secular, militantly agnostic site, so there probably isn't much point sending ads for religious organisations.
They will probably like reading authors like Hunter S. Thompson, P J O' Rourke, Saki, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Charlie Booker, Damon Runyan.
They might like TV shows like "The Thick of It", "The Mighty Boosh", "The Wire", "Arrested Development".
The might like films like "A life Aquatic", or "The Big Lebowski"