These are the confessions - such as they are of a non-drinking, monogamous, heterosexual, omnivore.
The Ginger Mumbly is a humorous and humourous, satirical, column. People who like this will probably like reading books.
They'll be interested in second hand books.
I also write about cafes - both in Brighton, where I now live and in Cambridge, where I used to live.
I spend a lot of my time in Cafes and have very strong opinions about what makes a good one.
And sometimes I write about travel, I like Paris, Berlin, Athens.
It's a secular, militantly agnostic site, so there probably isn't much point sending ads for religious organisations.
They will probably like reading authors like Hunter S. Thompson, P J O' Rourke, Saki, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Charlie Booker, Damon Runyan.
They might like TV shows like "The Thick of It", "The Mighty Boosh", "The Wire", "Arrested Development".
The might like films like "A life Aquatic", or "The Big Lebowski"
Plumbing the Depths
Sink blocked last night. Cowardly I know, but I was still rather glad that I'd already announced that I was
going out and unavoidably had to leave The Lodger and The Helene peering
into the murky waters armed only with an ineffectual plunger. The
enlightened design of modern day sinks makes them impossible to unblock
this way. Overflow you see. As you press down with all your strength on
the plunger all of that force is immediately redirected, not down at the
troublesome U-bend ( now there's a word I've overused recently) but down,
up, round and oh bugger, straight out through the overflow. The plungee
left damp and cursing. Spectators in helpless fits of laughter.
Got back to find the sink still blocked but
the kitchen now smelling like the swimming pools of my youth. The Helene
had resourcefully popped out and bought some foul smelling, heavily
chlorinated gloop which claimed to unblock even the most troublesome
sinks. "Will unblock any sink" it claimed. But if the bugger really cuts
up rough, leave it over night. Hopeful and expectant glances all evening.
The gloop doesn't budge. Next morning, fowl-smelling gloop still growling
in the bottom of the sink. It's going nowhere.
Why was I in such a hurry? I can see now of
course what the sensible thing to do would have been. A little thought. A
little planning. Rubber gloves would have been useful. Ah but then, if I
just put a bucket under the U-bend and then if I just unscrew this and let
it drain. Yes, that's draining out nicely, I'll just leave it, go and have
my breakfast now, yes, patience. Or maybe, maybe if I just undid it a
little more, well then it would drain more quickly. Yes, that's fine, I
can leave it now, but perhaps, perhaps if I just unscrew it a little. Oh
shit! shit! shit! vicious corrosive gloop spraying out in every direction
like an ornamental fountain going everywhere except the bucket. Yet
another one of those moments when I would have loved to have seen the
expression on my face - like when I came back from a Sunday lunch-time
drink to find the waters of the washing machine lapping gently over the
front doorstep. Quick get a mop! no quick rinse this flesh eating gloop
off my hands. No! Not in the sink! There's no U-...
Most upsetting of all, it turned out that it
was all my fault (just like it was with the washing machine). An inch
thick plug of solid lamb fat, completely blocking the U-bend, which must
have collected there the night before when I ran some water into the
roasting tray, I was only trying to make the washing up easier for The
Lodger. Still, despite the panic and my reddened and itchy hands (I
comforted myself with the fact that Sodium Hydroxide isn't actually
toxic, merely an irritant) I spent the rest of the day rather
pleased that I'd handled such a practical domestic problem myself. Should
have used rubber gloves though.
These are the confessions - such as they are of a non-drinking, monogamous, heterosexual, omnivore.
The Ginger Mumbly is a humorous and humourous, satirical, column. People who like this will probably like reading books.
They'll be interested in second hand books.
I also write about cafes - both in Brighton, where I now live and in Cambridge, where I used to live.
I spend a lot of my time in Cafes and have very strong opinions about what makes a good one.
And sometimes I write about travel, I like Paris, Berlin, Athens.
It's a secular, militantly agnostic site, so there probably isn't much point sending ads for religious organisations.
They will probably like reading authors like Hunter S. Thompson, P J O' Rourke, Saki, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Charlie Booker, Damon Runyan.
They might like TV shows like "The Thick of It", "The Mighty Boosh", "The Wire", "Arrested Development".
The might like films like "A life Aquatic", or "The Big Lebowski"